bleeps & bloops

Well, I thought I might not get to write another one for a few years but here I am at the coffee shop a couple blocks from my house working on the Wierd Records website. Just some maintenance issues. The FTP is being totally wack and I can’t access the server so how to spend the time waiting? Writing a blog! Yay. I have stopped allowing myself to wallow online in my free time these days. I spend so much time looking at the screen as it is. It has become too comfortable a position. I experience this wave of satisfaction whenever I lean back into my couch, laptop on my thighs. I sigh of joy. Scary shit, if you ask me.

But I have decided to help out with the Wierd Records website. They need some help updating the site and I really appreciate what Pieter is doing in this vast hairball of New York City. I only hope to someday be able to contribute to the great swirling, writhing masses with some new fan-dangled dance night or {gasp} band, artwork or extraordinary project. But first it’s helping others with what they are doing and getting financially stable by working a lot.

Speaking of which, I have quit my job. Quite exciting. A new beginning- and some free time to boot. I will be getting work again in January but until then I am so excited about heading South for the holidays. I’ll get to spend some time worshiping the mountains of West Virginia with my family. And eating lots of yummy food by the fire and sharing stories of our separate lives. Sounds dreamy in comparison to my solitude amongst millions here in the city.

FileZilla FTP connect already! Geez! Anyways..

I have been having emotional breakdowns in combination with revelations about my life about every week these days. It usually entails me freaking out about what the hell am I doing here totally miserable in this city? Well, not totally miserable by any means- there are lots of great things about being here- but I generally am incredibly lonely and I suffer from a sense of hopelessness, lack of control and frustration that I haven’t experienced since I was a teenager. I am impatient to have a kick-ass life. Why can’t I get it together? I have been trying to have more patience with this- New York City is a hard place to live, they say. Give it time. You’re doing great for six and a half months in. Hmm.

… a couple hours later…

Well, I was going to state my favorite things about the city thus far to cheer things up, but the FTP started working again and I finished my work for the site for the evening so I am out of here and into the real world.